Trials and Crimes of Middle-Earth

[erinion]

Before I begin, I am open to anyone who posts, despite this looking like my creation. Now, to begin.

In a darkened courtroom sits a judge, five members of a jury and many orcs, elves, men and other races. The judge, a Maiar, says, "here shall all crimes committed be tried, and witnesses may be brought forth to prove innocence and guilt. No matter the size of the crime, none shall escape the wrath of this court. There is one condition: no war-crimes shall be punished, for there are many, and it is difficult to fully understand and know whether the act was committed in self-defence, or what other conditions may be placed.

"First, we have Mr. Bilbo Baggins, whose charge is robbery. Bring out the witness."

Two winged spirits walk through a door and bring Bilbo Baggins.

"Please approach, Mr. Baggins. Place your hand on the Red Book, and repeat after me. I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth," the judge said.

Bilbo did as he was told, and sat in the witness box. Looking at who was in charge of his investigation, he saw Radagast the Brown at the prosecutor's desk. Radagast, after suffering a mid-life crisis, changed careers and became a District Attorney.

"Mr. Baggins, could you please describe your role in the events of the Downfall of Smaug?" Radagast said.

Bilbo recounted his part, including all details of his adventures of the mines of Moria. Radagast inquires into the character of Gollum, a bit, and then asks, "So this ring? Why did you pick it up?"

"I simply put my hand on it and put my hand into my pocket," Bilbo replied.

"Knowing that the ring was not yours. And, when you discovered that the ring was Gollum's, did you at any point think of returning it to him?"

"No."

"So, you admit you stole the ring?"

Bilbo looks at the judge, and asks if he has to answer the question. The judge replies that he does not, as it may involve self-incrimination. Bilbo faced Radagast once more, and says, "if you have no further questions, I'd like to bring in my first witness."

"Very well," Radagast replies, as Gandalf is brought into the room.

[TheBlackWizard]

[glow=red,2,300] I do believe this an RPG, NOT a fanfic. Oh well, I guess I'll have to let it slide since we don't have a board for RPG's yet. [/glow]

[erinion]

Gandalf approached the witness box and was sworn in. Bilbo stood up and asked, "can you please describe what you know of this ring?"

Gandalf obliged, and told of the history of the ring, from its forging through to its destruction.

"So what you're saying is, is that Gollum is a thief and murderer, and if someone steals from a thief then it is the thief's job to protect his own stealings?" Bilbo concluded.

"No. I am saying though, that Gollum stole this ring."

Bilbo had no further questions, and sat down.

[Majimaune]

I would post the next bit but I have a bit of homework at the minute. Gotta write a five minute speech on sound weapons.

[erinion]

Radagast stood up. "So, Gandalf. You are saying that Bilbo is innocent because he stole from a thief and murderer?"

Gandalf said nothing for a moment. "No."

"Then do you admit Bilbo stole the ring? Or that he planned to return the ring to its original owner?"

"No, I never said that I knew his intentions."

"And did he steal it?"

"As far as I know, yes," Gandalf said with a sorrowful look at Bilbo.

Radagast smiled. "That is all your honour," he said, and sat at his desk.

The judge told Gandalf he could leave, and asked Bilbo if he had any more witnesses. He didn't, but Radagast did, and Gollum was brought out. Snarling at Bilbo as he passed, he was sworn in and sat down.

[TheBlackWizard]

Gollum... what an interesting turn of events for the story.

[erinion]

Radagast stood up to ask his questions, and began with, "can you please state whether the ring in question was ever in your possession?"

"Gollum, gollum. He stole it from us. Nassty, thieving Baggins. We hates it, yes, we does precious."

"Just answer the question."

"Gollum, gollum. He took it from us. Our birthday present, yes precious, yes."

"So he did. And how did you come across this, ah, present?" Radagast asked.

"We found it, gollum, gollum."

"Right, well, you found it and he stole it. Gandalf seems to have been mistaken when he said you were a thief and murderer. I have no further questions your honour," Radagast said to the Maia in charge.

[erinion]

Bilbo stood up, and grimaced. He had always been afraid of Gollum, ever since the near-Hobbit had tried to eat him. Storlling towards Gollum, Bilbo had an idea.

"Hello Gollum, or is it Smeagol?"

"No! Smeagol is gone now, ever since our precious was destroyed. I survived, and we are one. There is no more Gollum either. I am Smeagollum! The couples councillor said we had to confront you to become one, and now I have!"

"Well, did you ever see me clearly in the pits of Moria?"

"Hsss. It was dark, but you told me your name, and the voice is the one I hear in front of me."

Bilbo decided that he better stop before he managed to produce further evidence against himself. The judge said, "if neither of you have any more witnesses, I call a ten-minute recess until I reach a decision."

For the ten minutes, Bilbo sat, sweating. When the judge entered, he stood, and the Maia said, "Looking at all the evidence presented, I find Bilbo Baggins guilty of theft of the One Ring. He is sentenced to five years in Dol Guldur correctional facility. Next case!"

Bilbo left in despair, and in his place as the next defendant was brought Grima Wormtongue.

[Majimaune]

Grima, for what though, killing Saroman and doing the world a favour.

Edit: And betraying a king whom he had sworn to protect.

[erinion]

"Sit Grima," the judge said. "Do you know why you are here?"

"No," Wormtongue said. "I thought all crimes with the War of the Ring were exempt."

"They are, but yours is not. Cannibalism is a crime. Radagast, it is your job to incriminate this man, but he may present evidence to prevent that. Begin"

Radagast stood. "I call Grima Wormtongue, your honour."

(OOC: From now on any witnesses will be automatically sworn in)

"What were you doing in Bag End after you left Isengard?" he asked.

"I cooked for Saruman, and tidied up. He was busy running the Shire."

"And were you passed on the road by Gandalf and four hobbits?"

"Yes."

"Did they say whether the ring had been destroyed?" Radagast asked.

[erinion]

"They merely stated that Sauron had been defeated, so I suppose that meant the ring was destroyed."

"Yes, but you see that would mean your crime is not related to the war of the ring, making it a normal crime. And this charge of cannibalism is not related, but your murder of Saruman is."

"So are you saying I am on charges of cannibalism?" Wormtongue asked.

"Grima, we have the evidence. First of all, there is the bones of Lotho Sackville-Baggins. Then we have the testimony of Saruman. If you plead guilty, your charge will be lessened," Radagast responded.

"May I see these bones, or at least have some reason why I should be called a cannibal?"

Radagast picked up some parchment. "Here, we have an account form the Red Book, the most holy of all artifacts, save for the silmarills and rings of power. It says,: '...Worm killed your chief, poor little fellow, your nice little Boss. Didn't you, Worm? Stabbed him in his sleep, I believe. Buried him, I hope; though Worm has been very hungry lately...' You then went on to admit to it, didn't you?"

"He made me do it! His power was too great, and his voice made people follow his will! You cannot pin this on me!"

[erinion]

"In that case, may Saruman be questioned? He is on both our witness lists, and may present the answer," Radagast queried.

Saruman entered, and was ordered not to use his power of persuasion.

"Saruman, did you order me to kill Lotho Sackville-Baggins?" Wormtongue asked.

"Yes."

"Do you admit that you had me perform all your nasty things?"

Saruman thought, then said, "Yes."

Wormtongue was finished, and Radagast asked, "So, if he was told to kill Lotho, he could have disobeyed?"

"Of course. I would have punished him, but he had the chance to ignore me, and could have left my service at any moment he wished."

"And did you tell him to gnaw the bones?"

"No," Saruman said.

Radagast was finished, and the Maiar judge said, "If that is all, I find Grima Wormtongue, on one charge of murder and one charge of cannibalism innocent, as it was a war-crime. Case dismissed!"

[Majimaune]

Why was Grima found innocent? I thought he had been found guilty of cannablism.

Next called forward was Shelob.

I'll do it later when I'm not on the net and then just copy and paste.

[erinion]

OOC: Grima was innocent because his was a war-crime. What did Shelob do that wasn't associated with the War of the Ring? Anyway, after this case is finished, I have a good one. Very interesting. I haven't even decided what the outcome will be.

[erinion]

OOC: Seeing as Majimaune isn't here to do Shelob...

IC: A guard of the court walked in, and said to the Maia judge, "Shelob is in a coma- she accidentally swallowed some of her own saliva. She isn't available at the present time."

The judge thought for a moment, then said, "very well. This case is in recess until Shelob is fit to take the stand. Bring in the next defendant!"

The assistant walked out, and returned, this time escorting Gandalf.